Our vagabond camera takes us to beautiful Washington DC...
...the national capital of our United States.
Situated on the broad banks of the Potomac River...
...living is pleasant, and leisurely.
For it is a city of formality and custom.
Manners and courtesy...
...are responsible for the well-ordered conduct of its daily affairs.
The many fine restaurants of Washington
are the delight of the epicurean and the gourmet...
...where one may enjoy to the full, the rare dishes of the Old South.
Washington's beautiful homes have the quiet dignity of another day.
Our trip would be incomplete...
...if we neglected to visit the quiet, staid and dignified residential section.
It is with pride that we view hospitable Washington.
Friendly Washington...
...welcoming us to her doorstep...
...eagerly throwing wide her doors.
I'm sorry, there are no vacancies.
Positively NO vacancies!
I have a reservation.
Well, pardon me... What was the name sir?
Benjamin Dingle... Senator Newman made the reservation.
Well, just a moment, Mr Dingle.
Oh yes, we have the reservation.
Senator Newman engaged a suite, beginning the 24th.
This is only the 22nd.
You're 2 days early.
Anything wrong with being 2 days early?
Why, no sir.
Everybody ought to be 2 days early.
When this nation gets 2 days early, we'll be getting somewhere.
Yes, sir,
But unfortunately this suite won't be vacated until day after tomorrow.
Can you connect me with Senator Newman?
The senator's out of town.
When will he be back?
Well, he was due back day before yesterday.
But he's...
2 days late.
Yes, sir.
Well, when Senator Newman gets back late... tell him I was here early.
Yes, sir.
Are all you people here in answer to the ad in the paper about the apartment?
- I am sir! - I'll take it!
I'm sorry, but the apartment is all rented.
What do you mean, rented?
It isn't 5 o'clock yet!
I'm very sorry, but the apartment is all rented.
If there should be another vacancy, there'll be another ad.
May I ask why you put us to the bother of coming here?
No, you may not.
Good day.
Like Admiral Farragut said...
"Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead."
- How do you do. - How do you do.
- I'm Benjamin Dingle. - You certainly are!
About the apartment.
I'm sorry, I've already rented it.
Just a moment, young lady...
Do you think you know me well enough to lie to me?
Yes.
Even so, you shouldn't do it.
Do you realise that practically most of the trouble in the world...
...comes from people lying to people.
Let's take Hitler, for instance...
I'm sorry, mister, but I prefer...
Mr Dingle.
I prefer sharing my apartment with a lady.
That's fine... So would I.
I'm sure you'll be happier some place else.
I've been there.
Now look, please, think of my position...
I can't just go round just renting my apartment to anybody.
I'm not just anybody.
Besides I'm only doing it because of the housing congestion in Washington.
You said it!
I think it's my patriotic duty to take somebody in, because...
...everything is so overcrowded.
I'm overcrowded.
Why don't you go to the YMCA?
Too old.
Or The Veteran's Home.
Too young.
Well, I don't know what to...
I'm sure you'll know then, when I rent half this apartment.
Suppose I have a look at it, eh?
Say...you're pretty sure of yourself, aren't you?
Once upon a time...
I mean, you wouldn't be happy here, at all.
Home is where you hang your hat.
This way?
- Now, listen!... - Just looking.
Just looking.
It's no use your looking, because I've made up my mind...
...to rent to nobody but a woman.
So let me ask you something...
Would I ever want to wear your stockings?
No.
Alright. Would I ever want to borrow your girdle?
Or your red and yellow dancing slippers?
Of course not.
Any woman, no matter who...
...would insist upon borrowing that dress you've got on right now.
You know why? Because it's so pretty.
I made it myself.
Then how would you like it if she spilled a cocktail all over it...
...at a party you couldn't go with her to, because she'd borrowed it to go to it.
Eh?!
She might have something that I could wear.
Not her!
Why not?
Because she's so dumpy-looking!
Never has anything clean.
That's why she's always borrowing your dresses.
How do I know you'd be any better?
Well, look at me! I'm neat, like a pin.
Aw...let me stay!
Well...
I'll tell you what...
We'll try it out for a week...
End of the week comes... if you're unhappy...
...we'll flip a coin to see who moves out.
- Who is it? - Me, of course.
Your copy of the...
Here's a copy of the morning schedule.
The morning schedule.
Oh, the morning schedule!
Yes, it's a matter of efficiency.
You just follow this and we won't have any trouble.
Here, I'll show you.
See, this is a floor-plan of the apartment...
Here's my room... Here's your room...
Here's the bathroom, and here's the kitchen.
Now, my alarm goes off at 7 o'clock...
...and we'll both get up.
And at 7.01, I enter the bathroom.
Then YOU go down to get the milk...
And by 7.05, you've started the coffee.
One minute later, I leave the bathroom...
And a minute after that, you enter the bathroom.
Now that's when I'm starting to dress.
3 minutes later, I'm having my coffee...
...and a minute after that, at 7.12...
...you leave the bathroom.
At 7.13, I put on my eggs, and I finish dressing.
Then you put on your shoes, and take off my eggs at 7.16.
At 7.17, you start to shave.
At 7.18, I eat my eggs...
..and at 7.21, I'm in the bathroom fixing my hair...
At 7.24, you're in the kitchen putting on your eggs...
At 7.25, you make your bed...
7.26, I make MY bed...
Then, while you're eating your eggs, I take out the papers and cans...
At 7.29, you're washing the dishes, and at 7.30, we're all finished.
You see.
It's really very simple.
Do we do all this Railroad Time, or Eastern War Time?
When you hear my alarm go off, you'll know it's 7 o'clock.
You're a very systematic girl, aren't you?
I used to work in the Office of Facts and Figures.
- OH! - Goodnight.
Miss Milligan!
By the way...
Why aren't you married, Miss Milligan?
Well, really!
Some high-type, clean-cut... nice young fellow.
If you don't mind, Mr Dingle.
Of course, there's not many men about, nowadays...
But there's always one if you're out to get one.
Maybe I don't want to get married!
Well, don't you?!
Or maybe you do.
Well...
Come, come, Miss Milligan...
- Make up your mind! - Make up my mind?!
You know..."Damn the torpedoes... Full steam ahead!"
That's what Admiral Farragut said.
Of all times, Miss Milligan, this is no time to be indecisive.
If you expect to get along here, Mr Dingle...
You have to learn to mind your own business.
In these days, Miss Milligan, everybody's business is everybody's business.
War brings people closer together, you know,
Not you and me, Mr Dingle... Good night!
Mind your own business!
A man's in his own room, minding his own business...
And who else gives him a course in...
One more thing...
We'd better not leave the apartment together...
...in the morning.
You mean, because people might think...
Well...not exactly... but people are so...
ME!?
Of course.
Thank you, Miss Milligan.
I thank you, indeed!
Good night!
Jimmy Doolittle flew over the seas...
He wants to nip at the Nipponese...
There's a cloud I've looked along...
Said, "By golly, there's Tokyo!"
Jimmy Doolittle...he understood...
He doo-diddle-doody...
And he dooed it good!
Somewhere Jimmy had heard it said...
"Damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead!"
Damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead.
Mr Dingle...
Mr Dingle.
Yes, Miss Milligan?
Do you smoke in bed?
No...I sleep in bed.
Do I smell smoke?
Only the smoke of burning memories, Miss Milligan...
Rising from the smouldering embers of my romantic youth.
Do you keep a diary, Miss Milligan?
No I don't...of course not.
Why do you ask?
There are 2 kinds of people...
Those who don't do what they want to do...
...so they write down in their diary what they haven't done.
And those who are too busy to write about it, because they're out doing it.
Full steam ahead!
Good morning!
You've got a terrible disposition, in the morning, haven't you!?
Good morning!
No!
"No" what?
Bring in the milk!
Good morning.
What are you doing out there?
Come in!
The paper!
The paper...Oh, my mistake!
Miss Milligan!
It's ME!...
...Mr Dingle... You locked me out!
Paper?
Coffee!
Mr Dingle... Après moi!
Mr Dingle...do you have the coffee?
Coffee...yes, yes... Coming coffee!
Right along... Coming right along...
Damn the torpedoes... Full steam ahead!
Coffee...coffee...
- There we are... - Merci!
There's a war going on, Miss Milligan.
Get dressed, Mr Dingle... Stick to the schedule.
Dress Mr Dingle... Get dressed.
- Mr Dingle! - Yes, Miss Milligan?
Don't forget to make your bed.
Oh yes...make the bed...make the bed!
Make the bed...
Where are my pants?
Where are those pants?
Mr Dingle...
It's 7.30!
If you're going downtown this morning, meet me downstairs at 7.32.
I share a ride with Miss Hopkins at 7.32.
We mustn't keep her waiting...
...because at 7.34 we pick up Miss Leadbetter.
Then at 7.37, we pick up Miss Taylor and Miss Johannes.
Oh...my lunch...
Mr Dingle...
Yes, Miss Milligan.
Do YOU care to ride?
Well, I've plenty of time.
If you don't mind, I think I'll just roll downtown.
Well, have it your own way.
His companion turned up to make him one.
Did you hear about the apartment?
Yeah...it says half an apartment... Is it rented?
You look like a high-type, clean-cut, nice young fella!
No, it's not rented...come in!
It's really only half of half an apartment.
- It's not rented. - Good.
What's your name?
Carter.
- Bill Carter? - Joe Carter.
I used to know a party named Bill Carter.
Wasn't me.
Don't you suppose I know that?
What'd you ask for, then?
Get you to say I know what Bill Carter looked like.
Not like me.
Then you know Bill Carter?
No, I don't.
But he sounds like a great guy!
In here.
Who's in here with me?
Me.
How much?
Well...half of mine.
$6 a week.
I'll take it.
It's about time you made up your mind.
5...6
How long are you gonna be in town?
Only a week.
That's too bad.
Why?
8 girls to every fellow.
So they say.
So it is.
How long have YOU been here?
Not long.
What do you do?
I'm a well-to-do retired millionaire.
How about you?
Same.
Say...what's that... The part of an airplane?
A new type of garden bench.
Looks like a propeller.
It does?
And what brought you here, Mr Carter?
Railroad.
No, I mean, what's your job?
I'm a mechanic... At the baby-carriage factory.
Where?
California.
San Francisco?
Burbank.
Baby-carriage factory, eh?
Yep...Tokyo Baby-Carriage Corporation...
"Plain and fancy baby-carriages, for carrying babies to Tokyo."
Maybe you think this is none of my business?
Maybe I do.
Probably your name isn't even Bill Carter.
Probably not.
It's probably Joe Carter.
Well...I'll take this one.
Have you got an alarm-clock?
Yeah. How about a key?
Hello, Milligan.
I'm Dingle.
Hold on...excuse me! ####
Come in!
Only one 'L' in 'Dingle'.
You must have been shopping... Let me help you.
There you are, Miss Milligan.
Miss Milligan... I've got something to tell you.
Mr Dingle...
- I've been thinking about it a great deal... - I wasn't sure how you'll take it...
It just won't work, that's all...
You'll have to give up your half of the apartment.
- What's that? - I can't have a man around the house.
I'm sorry, but I've made up my mind... You'll have to leave!
Say...what's the matter with you, anyway?!
I guess I'm just a bit jumpy, that's all.
Well, calm down!... You're making ME jumpy, too!
It's alright...it's nothing at all.
I'm sorry.
Come here a minute.
What's the matter, Milligan?
Dingle!
- Now, listen, Bill... - Joe.
- Listen, Joe... - Yeah?
I've got something I've got to ask you.
What?
You might think it a bit personal.
That's alright.
Never mind...I'll tell you later... It's alright!
That's alright, I'll tell you later.
Mr Dingle!
Yes?
Did I leave my comb in there?
No.
Never mind!
Hey, did YOU say something?
- Yes? - I thought you'd finished.
No hurry!
Just a minute!
That's alright...no hurry.
- Alright? - Alright!
How did THEY get here?
Bill!
Are you looking for someone?
Who are YOU?!
How did you get IN here?
Well, I live here.
Since when?!
Since this morning.
You don't by any chance happen to know a gentleman...
...by the name of Mr Benjamin Dingle, do you?
Meaning ME, Miss Milligan?
Yes! Meaning YOU!
What do you have to say for yourself?
Have you met my friend, Joe Carter?
I just met Joe Carter.
Oh...fine fella!
Mr Dingle...answer me this...
Who was it located and leased this apartment?
Who was it made that the landlord re-paper and re-paint it?
And who was it bought furniture and drapes...
...and made rag-rugs, and who considers this apartment her own?!
- You. - Alright then answer m this...
Who was it allowed you to sublet half her apartment...
...against her better judgement?!
You.
Then why do you go behind my back...
...and rent my apartment to this...this...him!
But I only rented half of my half.
Otherwise my friend Joe here would've had to sleep in the park.
Otherwise your friend Joe here...
...is gonna ought to have to sleep in the park anyway.
And you too! Now out!
Out! Both of you!
Wait a minute... I'm paid up for the week...
I gave him 6 bucks.
Well give him back his 6 bucks!
I had to send some telegrams...
And I'm not gonna move till I get my 6 bucks.
Give him a cheque!
No cheques!
Now look here... I don't owe you the 6 bucks...
HE owes you the 6 bucks.
Now listen, Miss Milligan.
I paid you 12 dollars for a weeks rent.
And I've only been here one night.
Now you give me back the difference...
...and I'll have the money to pay him with.
That solves it.
Yes...only...
Well...I bought a hat!
You bought a hat... Where's my money?
In her hat.
It is not...it's in his pocket... only he hasn't got it.
Just what do you think you're doing?
Just looking at the hat.
- Pretty, isn't it? - You've got a nerve!
Looks pretty on her, too... doesn't it?
Oh it does not...
That isn't even the way it goes on.
Now where were we?
Looking for my 6 bucks.
Well I told you that I...
Now look...you don't think that I'm gonna give...
Alright...stay!
For just ONE week...remember!
Come on... I'll show you the schedule.
What schedule?
For the steeplechase in the morning!
It's 7 o'clock, Joe!
Get up!
Thanks...hello Milligan.
I'm Dingle.
Get the schedule!
Here it is...schedule!
We're right on time!
Good morning!
What's for breakfast?
You've HAD your breakfast.
When?
7.07am
I guess we're kinda off-schedule.
What are you gawking at?
You.
You look nice.
Hope I haven't upset your routine here.
Just stick to the schedule, that's all I ask.
Rather nice having a high-type, clean-cut, nice young fellow at table.
Better than nobody.
I'm used to 'nobody'.
You ought to have some high times here, Joe.
Young fellows don't come a dime a dozen in Washington.
Eight girls for every fellow.
Yeah, well I haven't got time for that...
I'm only going to be in Washington a week.
Where are you going to... Where you came from?
Or where they send me.
Who's 'they'?
The government.
Too bad you're not gonna be here regular.
One less fellow for the girls to look at.
Like I told you...8 girls...
Yeah...Well you're wasting your conversation... I'm not interested.
Yes, but the girls are.
Eh, Miss Milligan?
Those that haven't any men friends are I suppose...
But in the case of a girl who's engaged to be married...
Engaged? You?
Mr Pendergast and I expect to be married in the very near future.
Pendergast?
Charles J. Pendergast.
Who's he?
Hasn't he got something to do with the housing plan?
He most certainly has... He just happens to be
Assistant Regional Coordinator of O.P.L...that's all!
Is that good or bad?
$8,600 a year!
That's good.
Furthermore he's the youngest man ever to occupy the position
of regional co-ordinator of O.P.L.
How old is he?
Only 42.
- 42?! - Only 42.
42 is a very safe, sane age...
When a man has reached 42, he knows something...
Like Mr Pendergast... he's an important man.
How long have you been engaged?
2 years, I'll bet.
22 months.
A long time for a girl to stick to one guy.
That depends on whether she's engaged to be married...
....or just "engaged".
Why'd you wait so long?
Mr Pendergast and I felt it would be an unwise step to take...
in these times, with world conditions so unsettled.
World conditions ARE so unsettled, Miss Milligan...
...because people won't settle on things.
They ought to stop pottering... and push ahead!
"Damn the torpedoes... Full speed ahead!"
That's what Admiral Farragut said.
Yeah...that was in Mobile Bay.
You said that yesterday, Mr Dingle.
And I meant it yesterday, Miss Milligan.
Mr Pendergast and I don't need your advice.
What did you say his first name was?
Charles J.
Well, don't you ever call him by it...
Like "Charlie" or "Chuck" or something.
Call Mr Pendergast "Charlie"?!
Sure...why not.
Of course, you don't realise that Mr Pendergast...
...is the type of man who's twice been to the White House for dinner.
Worst food in Washington.
For the President?
Yes.
I bet the President's wife calls him by HIS first name sometimes.
You...look messy.
Don't you ever brush your hair?
I s'pose Mr Pendergast combs his hair every hour, on the hour.
Mr Pendergast HAS no hair!
This project illustrates my point.
If the employees are housed near the plants in which they work...
...a full working day can be saved each week.
Sounds right.
Time is the one thing we cannot manufacture...
...BUT...we can make speed.
And if this committee will cut out all the red tape...
...and give me the permission to go ahead...
...I'll get things done!
Senator Newman...
What is it?
What Mr Dingle proposes is impossible.
There are contractual obligations that HAVE to be cleared up!
Then let whoever has to clear them up, clear them up...
...While we're clearing up the ground around the defence plants, for buildings.
We must do away with all forms and obligations.
Cut out all the red tape... "Full speed ahead!"
I'd like to call to Mr Dingle's attention...
That Article 847532 states that the laws of a community
must regulate construction in that community.
Now that's a fact, in Pennsylvania and New Jersey.
You said you represent the O.P.L., didn't you?
Precisely.
I didn't catch your name.
Pendergast.
Not Charles J. Pendergast?!
That's correct.
By golly, I should have known it.
...up and laid in single handed.
Bang! The door opens...
...face to face with the Leopard Lady herself.
"You have arrived as I expected, Mr Tracy!"
"Now I will make a bargain with you!"
"What fiendish crime have you now?"
"With the death-ray ours, we can conquer and rule the world."
"You and I, Dick Tracy."
"Count me out of your plans, Leopard Lady."
"I need to bring you to justice."
"Have you forgotten that I have the death-ray?"
"But without my help, it is powerless."
"Perhaps some boiling oil on your back, will persuade you to help me."
Gosh...that Dick Tracy is sure playing with dynamite.
Is that the best you can do with your time?
We better keep up with what's goin' on!
I missed 2 Sundays with Superman, once... and I've never felt right since.
Seems to me you might read something more beneficial.
Like what?
Like the editorials for instance, or the columns.
All well-informed people read the columnists.
Such as Mr Pendergast, I suppose.
You're right, I suppose...
Mr Pendergast always reads the columnists.
Are they funny?
Sometimes, but no pictures.
Oh, darn!
Hand me that section, will you?
I want to see if anyone I know is being mourned today.
Here...listen to this...
Born today to Mr and Mrs Charles J. Pendergast...
...a son.
Mrs Pendergast, the former Constance Milligan...
is doing nicely.
Mr Pendergast is doing alright, too.
He gets $8,600 a year.
The baby arrived 3 minutes ahead of schedule.
So Mr Pendergast refused delivery.
Funny!
Very, very funny.
Here, I'll help you.
The conversation's much too witty for ME.
If you don't mind I'll just leave you two up here...
...to laugh at each other's jokes.
What did I say?
Any minute now, you might say something so funny...
...I might laugh myself to death!
Well, I never said a thing.
Maybe I said something.
If you aren't too weak from laughing...
...you might bring these things with you when you come down.
What's SHE mad about?
Because YOU and the man she's engaged to...
...are not anything alike, and HE ought to be.
You were right, Mr Dingle...
...a diary!
Hey...I wouldn't fool with that if I were you.
Hey...she's not mad with you.
She likes you!
You're nuts.
Says you're dumb, but cute.
She's no bargain, herself.
Smart enough to get YOU going!
I don't even know she's alive.
How come then...last night... you said her name in your sleep?
I did not.
I did?!
Take my word.
A guy's apt to say anything in his sleep.
Maybe I was hollering at her.
No...you were cooing.. like this...
"Connie..."
Aw...you make me sick!
Alright! Alright!
Today...she says you're good company, and nice to have around.
No fooling boy... I'd put that away, if I were you.
She says you've turned out to be a high-type, clean-cut, nice young fellow.
She does?
She says that...
Found your diary kicking about...
You ought to be careful, Miss Milligan...
You never know what kind of people are hanging around.
I told you, you shouldn't have done that.
NOW what are you gonna do?
Find out what she's gonna do.
You'd better go in and square yourself.
Go ahead...you remember that stuff about the torpedoes.
Miss Milligan!
Connie...
I brought your things down.
That was a miserable thing to do.
If there's anything that's cheap and...
Contemptible!
...It's being caught reading somebody else's diary.
If I caught anyone reading mine...
You had to read it in front of HIM!
Connie, I was hardly listening.
SOME things are private, Mr Dingle...
And when people go poking their nose in...
...it's just too much, that's all.
And you have a very long nose, Mr Dingle.
I've tried to put up with you...
...but you have done nothing but pry and meddle
ever since you've been here.
You just better go pack up your things...
And when I get home from work tomorrow night...
...you'd better be moved out...
...once and for all.
The both of you!
Oh, it's you!
I thought the arrangements were that you would...
Yeah....well i didn't have time to pack this morning...
I had to go get my orders...
So I came back to pack now.
As long as I'm here...
I might as well give you this.
Miss Milligan, I have moved out.
But I wish to exonerate Joseph Carter, my former roommate
in the south half of 2B
of all implications of responsibility
in being caught reading your diary.
The fault is entirely mine
and Joseph Carter even protested my disgraceful action as follows:
"I would not do that if I were you."
And wouldn't read it because he's such a high-type, clean-cut, nice...
Yeah...well, you can skip all that.
I am, etc etc.
Benjamin Dingle.
I'd like that for my files.
What's the fixed-up alibi for?
Are you kiddin'?
Does this sound like me or Dingle.
Well, how do I know you didn't write it?
You don't.
Well, if HE wrote it, how do I know it's the truth?
You don't... only it's the truth.
Well...I don't know what to believe.
Well, I'm moving out anyway, so...
Just to show you there's no hard feelings...
I'd like to give you this.
But why?!
Peace offering.
Well, you didn't have to do that!
It's nothing much...just a sort of genuine top grade cowhide travelling bag...
...with all the accessories.
This gadget drops down.
Oh, isn't that lovely!
Yeah...all these things are fitted in here.
There you have... I guess you'd know.
Isn't that wonderful!
Then it has the locks...
Smells so good!
Oh, be careful!
- It has a piano hinge. - Are you sure?
It has a special 18-inch hinge, the man said...built in.
All different things you can do with it.
This is for magazines and things.
Smell!
Isn't that lovely!
I couldn't take it.
Mr Pendergast would object.
He'd have a perfect right to.
Just call it a wedding present.
Take it on your honeymoon.
I couldn't take one man's bag on another man's honeymoon.
We'll just keep it at home then.
Look..I had your initial put on... "C" for Constance.
You shouldn't have done that!
Well, I didn't then.
"C" stands for Carter, too... I really bought it for myself.
The government won't let me take it... where I'm going...
...so you might as well keep it.
Silly!
Look, Connie... I want to give it to you.
Would it kill you to do me a favour, and keep it.
All I'm asking is...that you accept as a gift... no strings attached...
...one genuine cowhide travelling bag.
Would you, please?
Well, I'm so embarrassed!
Please!
Alright.
Oh, it's really beautiful!
No strings attached.
Now...I'm set to go.
Here are the keys.
Where are you going?
Back to California?
No...Africa.
Ask me no questions... It's a military secret.
Certain government regulations...
They just won't let you tell people things like that.
I know there are a lot of things that ought to be explained...
But I'll write you about it.
When are you leaving?
In a couple of days.
For Africa...in 2 days?
Sure.
You can't go with that on your face.
Where are you going now?
Oh...I'll look for another place.
For just 2 days?
Can't sleep in the park!
Don't you think it's kind of silly to move... just for 2 days?
You mean...?
Oh boy!
Yeah, that's swell, because...
You know, when I get there, they're liable to ask me
where I spent the last 2 days...
And if I said I spent my last 2 days lookin' for a place...
...they'll think I'm a dope.
Yes, I guess they would!
You know...guys like that...
They're liable to expect a fellow to spend his last 2 days goin' places...
- ...and seein' the town. - Sure.
Well...thanks for the bag.
I mean... WITH somebody!
Oh, yeah.
Thanks for the bag.
Say, do you think we could go out together
and have dinner tonight?
You forget...I'm engaged, and...
I don't think HE'd like it.
No...he wouldn't.
Furthermore, I think I had a date with HIM tonight.
That fixes that!
Mr Carter...
What time have you?
7.30.
Well, he's supposed to call at 8, you see...
And sometimes he gets into a conference...
...and he can't even telephone, so...
If that happens, naturally the date is off.
So...I'll wait for him till 8...
...and if he doesn't call, well...
...then I guess it would be alright...
...because, you'll only be here such a short time...
...and you're working for the government...
..and it's everyone's patriotic duty...
...to do...
Maybe it's the wrong number.
Hello.
Oh, it's you!
Well what's the matter with you?
Oh, that's too bad.
Oh, you really ought to do something about that.
Take care of yourself... do something.
Just a minute... It's for you...
Mr Dingle.
Hello...no, Joe!
Yes...well you sound awful.
You'd better take something for that.
I don't know whether I can or not...
I won't know till 8 o'clock.
I think I have a date.
Yeah, well...if I don't, I'll meet you there.
O.K...Milli...Dingle.
Well, I think I'd better get dressed.
O.K.
Excuse me.
Oh...you look lovely.
Oh, thank you!
It's 8 o'clock.
It is?
And our friend hasn't phoned, has he?
No.
Well, in that case...
I think it might be alright.
It can't be Mr Pendergast...
He always phones from downstairs.
- He does? - Yes!
- Hello, Miss Milligan! - Hello.
Could I see you please, Miss Milligan, for a few minutes?
It's very important!
It's about a decision I have to make.
Could I see you for a few minutes, alone, please?
Couldn't it wait until tomorrow?
Oh, no...it can't wait till tomorrow... it's important!
Who's this?
This is my fellow...he lives downstairs.
How do you do Mr Pendergast?
May name is Morton Rodakiewicz.
I gotta see you.
Excuse me, I'll just be a minute.
Now, what is it you want to tell me, because I'm in a terrible hurry.
Do I want to join the Boy Scouts, or don't I?
Of course you do!
But I'm not the camp-craft type!
So should I join, because I don't like hunting and fishing and hiking and camp-craft, and OUGHT TO...
...or should I NOT join, because I don't like hunting and fishing and hiking and camp-craft.
Well, yes...definitely!
Some problem!
A person should know if he's the camp-craft type.
Morton, I'll be terribly disappointed if you don't go and join the Boy Scouts, tonight, right now!
I'll do it!
Only, I can't do it tonight, because it's too late.
But tomorrow I'll do it.
Oh, your phone is off the hook.
There's my good deed for today. Already I'm a Boy Scout!
Will you be disappointed in me if I waited until tomorrow?
- No Morton. - Oh, that's good.
Your phone's ringing!
It's ringing.
Thank you, Morton.
So long.
Hello.
Yes, Charles?... How are you feeling?
I feel wonderful!
Oh, you do?!
Well...um...I'll be right down.
That's my date...I'm so sorry.
Have a good time!
Thank you... You have a good time too.
- Have a good time. - Thank you, Morton.
Hey!...
What are you lookin' at?
The Capitol dome.
You oughta not be lookin' outta those spy-glasses...
Spyin'!
You can get in awful serious trouble doin' that.
Knock off, will ya?!
Everybody's givin' their spy-glasses to the Navy...
I read it in the paper.
Why don't you give YOUR spy-glasses to the Navy, too?
Because...
I'm a JAP!
Two?
It'll be a couple of minutes before I have a table for you gentlemen.
There's plenty of room at the bar.
I've come to the conclusion that we ought to get married right away.
You have?!
Yes, I have.
We've put it off long enough.
From now on, it's full steam ahead.
That is, with reservations.
What did I tell you...?
...8 to every fella!
And what did I tell you?
I'm not interested.
Cheer up, Joe... We're out for a good time.
Well, I thought you said something about...
...world conditions being so unsettled, and...
Exactly...there's no reason for us to be unsettled, too.
Come on Saturday afternoon... We can have half a holiday...
I'll apply for the licence tomorrow.
Why, we can be back at work, bright and early, Monday morning!
Gentlemen, I have your table for you now.
Excuse me.
Pendergast!
How do you do, Mr Dingle!?
Well, well...this is a happy coincidence!
Joe...come here...come here!
Meet my friend, Joe Carter.
Joe...this is Charles J. Pendergast.
How do you do.
This is my fiancée, Miss Milligan.
Mr Dingle...Mr Carter.
Delighted, Miss Milligan!
Why, I...
How do you do.
Mr Carter?
Won't you sit down?
Yeah...sit down, Joe.
Here, have this chair.
I seem to feel we've met somewhere before, Miss Milligan.
No, I guess not.
I guess not, too.
Mr Dingle is in Washington to discuss the housing plan.
Oh, indeed!
I suppose you're crowded like everyone else in Washington.
I'm crowded like nobody else.
Then you realise what a problem we're up against.
Yes, Joe..there are cases on record...
..where 2 and 3 people have practically been forced to live in the same room.
- No! - Yes!
I tell you, the condition is deplorable.
Oh...kind of cosy, though... don't you think?!
Mr Carter...I lie awake nights, just worrying about the situation.
No!
Little do you know how much you've got to worry about!
Oh, yes I do!
- Oh, no you don't! - Oh, yes I do!
Why, at the present time at least 30,000 4-party units
could be absorbed just by the incoming populace alone.
I wonder how many single-party units it could take to relieve the present situation.
Can you guess?
I don't have to guess.
I know...187,683.
Have you facts and figures to substantiate that?
I certainly have!
Say, why don't you two young people go and dance...
...while Charles and I talk this thing over.
- Charles...? - That's alright.
You figure the same way on a 3-party unit?
That music...it disturbs me.
I can't concentrate.
My boy, you don't know how you've simplified this whole problem...
...for everyone concerned!
Come up to my suite, where you CAN concentrate.
We'll have this thing all ready to present to the board tomorrow morning...
Come on! We'll roll up our sleeves and get busy.
Take good care of Miss Milligan.
Don't worry!
I'll be back, Constance...I...
Who taught you to rumba?
Some girl, I bet.
Is she nice?
Not half so nice as YOU.
Why, Connie!...Hello!
How are you?
Oh, I'm fine, I guess...
- Miss Allen, Miss Bilby...Mr Carter. - How do you do, Mr Carter.
Have you been in Washington long, Mr Carter?
- As a matter of fact... - Where are you from, Mr Carter?
Mr Carter's from California.
- Hollywood? - Burbank.
Oh, you couldn't be in the P-38 interceptor business, could you?
No...potatoes, that's my line.
Mr Carter's going to be...
Oh, you're a farmer!
Burbank potatoes.
Hello Betty.
Miss Milligan, Mr Carter, Miss Harper, Miss Tracy, Miss Bilby, Miss Ewing, Miss Doyle.
And this is Miss Finch, Miss Dalton, Miss Geisekin, Miss Harper....Mr Carter.
How do you do.
Miss Allen, Miss Geisekin, Miss Finch...Mr Carter.
I'm Miss Milligan.
- Miss Milligan... - Yes?
You're wanted on the telephone.
Oh, thank you.
Excuse me.
Could you show me where the telephone is, please?
It's right this way, Miss.
Oh, thank you.
Do you want to sit down?
You mean you're not coming back at all?
Mr Dingle says that Mr Carter will be glad to take you home.
Mr Dingle says you won't be taking Mr Carter very much out of his way.
Oh, it isn't out of his way at all.
You know, your eyes are blue, like the colour of your necktie.
They are not... They're grey like his shirt.
No...I think they're hazel.
Mr Pendergast phoned...
...and said he would like YOU to take me home.
Well, you don't have to, if you don't want to.
I couldn't let you go alone.
Well, look...you could always come back you know, if you want to.
No!
What are "we"?
Oh...my mother and father and sister.
Sundays we generally go down to the beach.
What beach?
Pacific Ocean beach.
- Who goes? - The whole gang.
Like who?
Oh...like Bob Rowe...Bill Widermeyer... and Jeff York...
Well, don't you ever go with any girls?
- Of course. - Well, who?
Helen Tuttle.
Is she your girl?
I just go with her.
A long time?
No...just a girl I know.
Is she your girl?
No...I just go with her.
Is she attractive?
I guess so.
Who did you go with before that?
Elsie.
How long?
Couple of months.
What happened?
She wanted to get married.
- And then what happened? - She got married.
Who did you go with before that?
Mmm...Martha and Adele, I think.
What happened to THEM?
I still go with them.
Are you AFRAID to get married of something?
No.
I don't want to get involved.
They say...that's what happens to a man when he gets married.
Marriage is O.K., if you want to be,
I expect to be very happy.
- You do? - Yes...
I consider myself a very lucky little lady.
How's that?
Being engaged to Mr Pendergast...
Yeah...$8,600 a year!
That's a lot of money!
Sure is.
Especially, if people who are highly intelligent like Mr Pendergast...
...know how to budget...and plan.
Sure.
We're planning very carefully.
That's the way to do it alright.
Take my engagement ring...
Don't you think it's nice?
- Not gaudy, I mean. - You bet!
We thought...Mr Pendergast and I...
...that it would be better to get a conservative ring...
...and put that extra money into a home...see.
That's the way to do it, alright.
We found a lovely little house in Georgetown.
For after the emergency, of course.
Sure.
Mr Pendergast is so busy nowadays...
...he just doesn't have time to think of it even.
I can understand that.
Why, just last week, one evening, he had a dinner conference...
with Leon M. Henderson...
...and Donald M. Nelson.
Leon M. Henderson and Donald M. Nelson are...
He must be an important man.
Yes...and so considerate, you know...
Why...My cousin had a stamp collection...
And he used to save all his foreign stamps...
...from his office, and gave them to me for her, my cousin.
Is that so?!
Don't you think that's wonderful... a man in his position...
...to do a thing like that.
The best.
Well, you see that's the way with those older men like Mr Pendergast...
A girl gets to appreciate...
...their more mature...
I'd better go.
Goodnight.
Mr Carter.
Goodnight, Miss Milligan.
I almost forgot where I live.
Goodnight.
Where you headed, boy?!
We gotta work for a livin'!
Can't you see we're all bedded down here, peaceful like?!
Must be one of them new Republicans...
...who got into office!
Here...
I have my key.
Connie...
Yes?
Are you asleep?
No.
Me neither.
I've been thinking.
I've been thinking, too.
What about?
Mr Dingle.
How?
It's alright for Dingle to talk...
He hasn't any decisions to make.
But for a person like me...
Girls...
We have to think things out very, very carefully...
..and be sure we're going in the right direction.
For instance...
Mr Pendergast wants us to be married right away.
You know...our engagement.
Yeah...I know.
Now, you take my case, too...
I have to go across on special duty I'm not supposed to talk about.
I guess under these circumstances, it'd be alright.
I may never come back...
...and under those circumstances, it follows to figure on that.
Yes, it certainly has.
Connie...
Yes?
Are you asleep?
No.
Have you got an aspirin?
No...but I got a headache.
Me too.
And I can't sleep.
You can't?
No.
Why can't you?
I love you, Connie.
Did you hear what I said?
Yes.
Well...
If YOU feel the same way, would you tell me?
Would YOU stay right where you are?
Yes.
I love YOU, more than anything in the world.
I promise.
Connie!
Connie...
Yes?
You asked me if I was afraid to get married.
I'm not afraid.
I mean... Will you marry me?
I want to marry you, Connie.
Thank you, I'd...I'd love to.
How?
What...? You said you'd be gone in a couple of days.
Yeah.
Then you'll go away and we might never see each other again.
Yeah...but...
Well...don't you see?
Yeah...I guess you're right.
Oh, it's an awful problem.
Isn't it?...
...darling.
It sure is...
...dear.
I'd be way over there...
...and you'd be over here.
And I'd be worrying about YOU... and you'll be worrying about ME.
That's no good at all.
I guess not, then.
I guess you better go to sleep...
...darling.
Goodnight...
...dear.
Goodnight Mr...
Darling!
What's your name?
Joe Carter.
My names Evans... This is Mr Pike.
Federal Bureau of Investigation.
FBI, eh?
Yeah...want to talk to you.
What's going on here?
Don't be alarmed...we're just having a look around, Mrs Carter.
I'm not Mrs Carter...I'm Miss Milligan.
He's just a friend of mine.
A very good friend!
Look...he lives in here and I live in here.
As a matter of fact, she's my landlady.
What do you fellas want here, anyhow?
We got a report you've been having a peek at Washington.
What's wrong with that?
It depends on how you see it, Mr Carter.
Nice view from here.
Right into the Government Printing Office...
...with a pair of binoculars.
The binoculars...they think I've been looking at government stuff...
Your friend...Morton Rodakiewicz!
What's this?
It's my uniform.
Why don't you wear it?
Well, I always sleep in my pyjamas.
I mean earlier in the evening.
Why didn't you wear it
when you were looking out of that window with those binoculars?
I can see alright without it on.
Well, you've got a mouthful of funny answers, haven't you.
Gotta get dressed...both of you.
Why do I have to get dressed?
Because traffic's jammed up enough, the way it is.
Alright...let's get going.
You stay there.
Say...I think they made a mistake down at headquarters.
This fellow don't look like a JAP!
Your papers seem to be in order.
But we did have reason for suspicion.
The only thing we're concerned about is a report over the telephone...
...that there was a Japanese at your address...
...studying the Government Printing Office through binoculars.
It wasn't me.
There's never been a Japanese near the place.
Well, can you think of anyone, beside yourself and Carter...
...that might have been seen around the apartment?
Well, Mr Dingle... I told you before.
Oh, yes... Well how about Dingle, Pike?
Well, I phoned him sir... He said he'd be right over.
He wanted to know if he could bring a friend.
What's he think we're doing... serving tea?
It was mighty nice of you to come traipsing over here with me...
...at this time of night.
Well, you must know me well enough by this time, Mr Dingle...
...to realise that when things have to be done...
...I don't question it.
I don't know what this is all about.
There's no telling how long I'll be held up here.
Tut tut tut... Everyone over here knows me.
I'm sure my presence will speed things up.
Then we can get back to our work!
That's the spirit!
The average man 'd say let it go till tomorrow...
Not YOU, Charley!
You're a go-getter, my boy... A go-getter!
Hello...er...
Pike.
Pendergast. This is my good friend Benjamin Dingle.
Oh yes, Mr Dingle.
Who's on duty?
Harding.
Harding? I know Harding...well!
Come on Mr Dingle, we'll get to the bottom this in record time.
Harding, old man, how are you...
Haven't seen you in weeks.
Say, I'd like to ask you a little favour, Harding...
I'm a very busy man, so just postpone whatever you're doing there...
...and give me a few minutes of you time.
- Oh I'd like to, but... - I knew you'd understand!
You see, a very good friend of mine was requested to put an appearance here.
As a matter of fact, he's working with me, and we're very busy...
So, if you could... I forgot to introduce him...
This is Mr Dingle.
How do you do.
Mr Dingle is...
Constance?!
What are you doing here?
What is it... What's the trouble?
What's the matter? Speak to me!
Hello.
It's nothing to get alarmed about, Mr Pendergast...
Merely a routine investigation.
You see we received a wild report over the phone...
Oh, yes?!
We receive hundreds of them... They usually mean nothing.
Well...I should hope so!
I've known Miss Milligan for 6 years.
As a matter of fact, she's in my department.
And we're eng...
Carter!
How've you been?
Really, Constance, I'm afraid I don't understand!
Look, the whole thing could be explained, if you just let Mr Dingle speak.
- Please, Miss Milligan! - Excuse me.
Now then, Carter...
Present.
Step over here, please.
Say, if Mr Dingle could explain...
You...Pendergast...You can talk after I'm through with Carter.
- What's Carter got to do with it? - Sit down!
Carter was in Miss Milligan's apartment when we arrived.
And he was in possession of these binoculars.
What was he doing with his binoculars in YOUR apartment?
Now then...your address, Miss Milligan.
1708 'D' Street.....Apartment 2B.
Beg pardon, I meant Carter.
Burbank...it's 651 Sunnycrest... the house on the corner.
No...here in Washington.
Well, that's 6310 Munitions Building.
I mean your Washington address... where you sleep.
I sleep?
'D' Street...I think it's...
1708.
1708 'D' Street...apartment what?
- Apartment? - Apartment number!
2...
B.
I told you I thought you wouldn't understand...
...Charles.
But how could it be?
I only introduced you to him, tonight!
Well I forgot to tell you, we met before.
It can all be explained...
You see, I sublet half my apartment, to help relieve the housing shortage.
To Carter?
No! To Mr Dingle.
And Mr Dingle sublet half his half to Mr Carter.
I'd like to believe you, Constance, but...
You'd believe Dingle, wouldn't you?
Yes...Just ask Mr Dingle!
Mr Dingle!
I beg pardon?
You've got to help us out.
Yes, Ben.
Of course...certainly.
What can I do?
Well, Mr Pendergast thinks that Joe and I
Really, Constance...I don't know what you expect to prove NOW.
Mr Dingle was in the apartment all the time...
...and rented half of it to ME.
What apartment?
Miss Milligan's apartment.
Has Miss Milligan got an apartment?
Are YOU kidding?!
You know I have... You lived there!
I'm sorry, but I live at the Winton-James Hotel.
- Don't I Charles? - Of course!
You were over there with me, this evening, weren't you?
Yes, yes, of course...they know I was with you!
Mr Dingle! How could you?!
I'm very sorry...I'd like to help out you young folks...
But after all, there's no use lying...
...when truth is staring you in the face
There certainly isn't!
If you were a younger man, I'd punch you right in the nose!
If you were a smarter man, you'd use your brains...
...instead of your fists!
Come in!
I'm sorry, I thought I was in my own office!
Major Denton to identify Carter.
Come in, Major.
Are you Mr Harding? That's right...how do you do.
Hello, sergeant.
What's the trouble?
They think I was looking at the Government Printing Office
with those binoculars.
Well...were you?
No sir.
We've already discovered that, Major.
Now, if you're willing to vouch for Carter...
Certainly!... He's here on special duty.
-Thank you very much. -Is that all?
That's all... and thanks for your trouble.
No trouble at all...Goodnight.
Goodnight.
- You have your orders, sergeant. - Yes, sir.
Well, I guess that about clears everything up, Inspector.
That's right... Show him out, Evans.
Sorry if this has caused any of you embarrassment.
Embarrassment?!
Mr Dingle!
- Mr Dingle! - I beg pardon.
Did you, or did you not, live at 1708 'D' Street?!
- Shush! - Apartment 2B
- Tell HIM! - Tell what?
Didn't you live at my apartment?!
Is that true... You DID live in that apartment?
Hasn't anyone brains enough to push this little button?
- Joe!...You... - What?
What?
Our friend here's finally broken down and told the truth.
Oh, he HAS, eh?!
If that's true, Mr Dingle...
...why didn't you say so in that room?
Scandal, my boy...scandal!
A thing like this gets around...ssh!
Of all the mean, contemptible, low-down...
- Down! - Down...yeah!
Take me to the 'Washington Sun' building. Let's go.
You'll have to wait... I gotta get a full load.
Taxi!
Mr Dingle..surely you don't really think there'll be any scandal?!
I don't dare think so.
The FBI has a reputation for secrecy.
I know, but a lot of people saw them yanked out of her apartment...
...in the wee hours of the morning.
A thing like that's apt to ruin a man!
"Ruin a man"... What about a lady?!
Yes, it won't do HER any good, either.
As far as I'm concerned, my boy... It's every man for himself.
Winton-James Hotel.
I gotta get a full load.
No...you wait for me. I want to have a talk with you.
Go ahead.
I gotta get a full load.
Alright, I'm a full load.
1708 'D' Street.
Now, see here, Mr Dingle...
If there's a scandal, you're responsible...
You've put us all on the bad light.
It was cowardly of me... But I can't afford...
YOU can't afford?! You're going to Michigan tomorrow...
I have to stay right here... I'm engaged to Miss Milligan...
Our engagement is widely known.
You got off scot-free by lying... I hang right in the middle of things!
But you're a young man, Charley.
I AM a young man, yes! With a career that's just beginning.
Yes, by all means... Let's protect your career!
I don't matter!
My position doesn't make any difference at all!...
It's only Charles J Pendergast!
Don't you shush ME!
You've been shushing me for 22 months!
Now you've shushed your last shush!
For 22 months I've been engaged to a career, not a man.
Here, perhaps this will relieve you of this embarrassing situation!
Take your career... and go run for cover!
Constance...maybe I was hasty.
You certainly were.
Then I apologise...
Now will you take back the ring?
No!
I'd think twice if I were you, Miss Milligan.
About what?
In your position, you can't afford to burn your bridges behind you.
You mean by being engaged to 'Mr Smug' here...
...I can keep my respectability?
Not only by being engaged...
...but a quick marriage before the story gets out.
Then let it get out!
Look here, Ben...you're making a 5-alarm fire out of this thing.
Nobody's going to hear this story... unless you shoot off YOUR big mouth.
Me? Joe...you're doing me a great injustice!
Hey mister... You in the corner pocket...
You wanted the 'Washington Sun' building didn't you?
- Yeah. - Well, there it is.
For a dull night...finally got a good story.
Thanks to you, Mr... Pendergast?
Pendergast...Charles J...DL..
Thanks...there you are, driver...
Got a deadline to make. Goodnight.
Good morning.
He's a newspaper man!
Your friend just stole third base!
A million people in this town...
...and it had to be a newspaperman in the corner pocket.
That's bad!
I'm sorry about this Connie... but don't cry!
- Who's crying? - SHE is.
She had a perfect right to.
Why not? Her name 'll be mud by morning.
Well, can't we...?
Oh...don't bother about me...gentlemen!
Every man for himself!
I warned her about burning Charley behind her.
Just don't bother about me, because I'll...
I'll give up...I'll...
I'll get out of town... I'll go back home and be miserable.
YOU started all this, Ben!
I know...it was cowardly of me.
If I didn't have to leave in the morning...
...I'd do something about it myself.
What would you do?
Don't be stupid... What can HE do?
Telephone Charley and get the ring and use it himself.
Me be engaged to Joe Carter while he's away?
No, married...kill the scandal.
That's preposterous!
Wait a minute...
I only mean one of these "in name only" propositions...that's all.
I'd be willing to co-operate.
Co-operate!...HE would?!...
That's mighty big of him!
What's SHE got to be so huffy about?
What are you so huffy about?
I guess he wouldn't even be happy THAT way!
- Would he? - Would you?
I don't know, if it's THAT way...
What's being happy got to do with it?
Nothing!
Right!...All it needs is a little teamwork.
You two co-operate on a quick ceremony, for the sake of all of us.
Then an annulment is a simple matter...
...if you don't co-operate any further.
Miss Milligan can stay right here on her war job...
...with her head high.
Joe goes overseas with not a thing on his mind.
Well, if HE'd do it... I'd be willing to co-operate, that far.
Well, we'd have to do it quickly...
...because I have to leave in exactly 26 hours...
...hot or cold.
Well, then it can't be done. It takes 3 days to get married.
It could be right now in South Carolina.
Hot or cold.
South Carolina? That's hundreds of miles from here.
By plane, it's right next door.
I've got a little schedule here.
Here, take this down.
A schedule is a mighty handy thing at times, Miss Milligan.
Now let me see...it's now 4.21am...
You could be at the airport by 4.50...
Your plane leaves at 5.42, hot or cold...
I could be back at my hotel, by 6 or 6.22...
...telephoning Charleston... making all arrangements.
You arrive at Charleston at 8.43, hot ot cold...
At 9.35 you get your licence...
At 10.15 you're standing in front of the minister...
At 10.30 you're married...
And at 12 o'clock, hot or cold...
lunch.
Here's your "50-cent Blue Plate".
What kind of fish is this?
Catfish.
Here's your nice boiled rice.
What's the matter, honey?
We'd better hurry up and eat our lunch and get out of here.
Let's go.
Is there something wrong, mister?
No...everything's just dandy.
Then why is the young lady crying?
Because she's so happy.
Oh, for goodness sake!
Newlyweds!
What's wrong with newlyweds?
I better give you this licence, coz...
Then if anybody asks about your marriage...
...you can just show 'em that.
Oh, thanks!
Thanks for marrying me...
...Joe.
It's a pleasure.
Well, I guess I better go up and pack my things.
Then you can get an annulment, and I can go to Africa...
...with nothing on my mind.
Where do you think you'll stay tonight?
I'll just roam around town, I guess...
I haven't seen much of Washington...
...and anyway, I probably wouldn't sleep very much.
Well that seems kind of silly...
I mean your room is still vacant...
And you're paid up until tomorrow.
Do you think it's be alright?
Well, if the FBI come... we'll just show them this.
I'm trying to steal the sweetheart of the soldier...
It's up to you to play a manly part...
For he's over there, and she's over here...
Still she's always in his heart...
They may not meet again to love each other...
Still he prays that he'll come back some day
You'll write to me and let me know where you are, won't you?
When I know where I am.
When I know where YOU are...
...I'll write to you and let you know where I am.
Coz I'm gonna worry about YOU.
You mustn't do that...
You have to go with nothing on your mind.
Well I can't help worrying about you.
Goodnight.
Goodbye.
What is it, Connie?
I forgot to take it!
To take what?
I forgot to take my bag on my honeymoon.
Maybe you can take it another honeymoon some time with somebody else.
I don't want it with somebody else!
Oh, and another thing...
Don't take in any more roomers.
Why?
Why? Because you pick up a lot of riff-raff that way...that's why.
Well, I was only trying to be patriotic.
Well...they're sending your husband to Africa...
That's patriotic enough.
Don't take in any more roomers.
But, Joe!
You know what happened last time.
Ought to be a lesson to you.
What happened?!
Nothing!
I'm not the kind of person anything happens to!
I should think YOU'd know that.
Yeah, well, as long as you're married to me...
...no more roomers.
Why are you talking like a REAL husband?
You're only supposed to co-operate so far, you know.
I AM a real husband...
Until it's annulled.
Oh, annulled, annulled... that's all you talk about!
For gosh sake... All I said was no more roomers!
But Joe...
Supposing I don't get a job right away?
How will I pay the rent? At last a roomer would help.
I'm gonna have my pay signed over to you...
You don't need a job.
I don't want your pay!
You're gonna get it.
I've saved some dough, and you're gonna get that, too.
I'm gonna sign my insurance over to you...
Then if anything happens to me, you're gonna get $10,000.
If anything happened to you, I wouldn't want that money.
Well, I'd rather have you take the money, than take in roomers.
Just promise me you'll take care of yourself!
Don't cry, baby!
In love and war, with people like us...
...we've got to work fast or we'll miss the bus.
If you straddle a fence and you sit and wait...
...you get too little and you get it too late.
What'll you say if we see it through...
You stick by me and I'll stick by you.
And our 18 children will be glad we said...
Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead...
Damn the torpedoes... full speed ahead...
And our 18 children will be glad we said...
Damn the torpedoes... full speed ahead
Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead
Damn the torpedoes... full speed ahead!
Subtitles by FatPlank for KG